iMake Excuses
by Harry Potter Fan 1994
Summary: Prepare to be overfluffed with Seddie.


Hello, Seddie fans! Just a side note: I'm going to be MIA for the next three days, sorry if you don't hear from me!

Disclaimer: I don't own iCarly.

* * *

"Nice hammock," approved Sam.

"Thanks! It's imported from _Hawaii_. And look, the poles look like palm trees!" replied Spencer, running his fingernail up and down the poles so they made really annoying noises.

"Has it spontaneously combusted yet?" asked Freddie.

"Nope! But just in case, can you guys watch it while I pick Carly up from her study buddy's place?"

Sam smirked. "She told you Brandon was her study buddy?"

"Yeah. Why?"

"Nothin'."

"We'll do it. See you later, Spence," Freddie said.

Spencer waved goodbye and walked out.

Sam went for the fridge. "Mmm...jerky. Hey, they're out of OJ, what else am I gonna wash this down with?"

Freddie ignored her and gingerly sat on the hammock. It flipped him over.

"Ha! Dinner and a show." Sam sat on the couch and watched him. "Are you going to do another trick?"

"Shut up! I can't ever figure out how to work these things..."

"And you can produce a web show?"

Freddie glared and tried again, successfully lying flat. "Hey, this isn't so bad, once you get on. These are really comfortable..." He closed his eyes while the hammack swayed. It was pretty relaxing.

"Get off, Fredward. I wanna try it."

He frowned. "No. I just got on."

"Too bad. Now get off or I'll knock you off."

"Wait your turn."

Sam stood over him threateningly, but Freddie didn't budge.

"What? I already fell out of this once, it doesn't hurt that bad."

"I can make it hurt a lot, Freddie. Don't underestimate me."

He gulped. "I'm not backing down."

Sam grinned. "Well then, say hello to the floor." While she calculated exactly what move would harm him the most, a different idea struck her. "Or...how 'bout I just share it with you?"

The look on his face was priceless.

"Last chance to get out."

"N-never."

"Then by all means, keep blushing."

"Sam...don't come near the hammock...go away..."

So of course, she climbed in. The hammock was not built for two people.

Freddie scooted away from her, but kept sliding back to the middle. Sam decided she didn't like being smushed against him, and shifted, leaving maybe half of Freddie's body uncovered.

"Sam, get _off_ of me!"

"Get off the hammock!"

"No!"

"Is it really worth it, Fredward? Do you want my memory ruining all hammock experiences you ever have? Just leave," she crooned. A weird, choked sound made its way out of Freddie's throat. Sam just laughed. "This is so much fun."

"You know what?" he rasped. Then he cleared his throat and tried again. "You know what? It doesn't bother me."

"Really."

"Yeah. Not at all."

"Not even when I do this?" She cuddled into him, feeling his body stiffen.

"...N-no."

"Or when I do this?" she whispered in his reddening ear.

"What're you _doing_?"

"Bothering you. Like you said I wasn't."

"You're not."

"Uh huh."

Sam sighed and let him be for a few minutes. "You're right, Freddo. This is pretty comfortable."

"For you."

"Why's your arm around me?"

Freddie thought fast. He hadn't meant to do that. Would she remember that it hadn't been there when she climbed in? "I'm bothering you."

"It doesn't bother me."

"Then why'd you mention it?"

Sam said nothing, and Freddie saw a window with a panoramic view of opportunity.

"I think I'll bother you some more. How do _you_ like it when someone decides to...oh, I don't know...hold you?" he taunted.

"Don't even try it, Freddork."

He couldn't believe he was trying this on Sam. Freddie hadn't been crazy an hour ago, he was absolutely sure. Did he have something weird to eat? _Here goes nothing. _He wrapped his arms around her, surprised when Sam went limp.

"What? You're not fighting back?" He pulled his arm back, and accidentally brushed her side.

A violent jolt went through Sam's body.

She gasped, "Don't do that ever again!"

"You're ticklish." A smile slowly crept across his face.

"No, I'm not, you nub...don't..." Her warnings erupted into laughter. "Stop!--haha--Stop, you dweeb--!"

A tiny hammock was not the ideal place to be stuck in with a writhing human being, so Freddie let it go after she'd kicked him a few times.

"Your secret is totally not safe with me."

"You tell _anyone_, and I'll--"

"Whatever you do, I'll just tickle you back."

"You still haven't bothered me at all."

"Yeah I did, you yelled uncle!"

"You'd do that too, if you were--" She stopped, and Freddie knew exactly what was going through her mind.

"Okay, okay, I got it, I haven't bothered you yet," he said quickly.

"You gonna try and kiss me now? That's all you've got left."

"Nah, I've had enough fun. I'd never kiss _you_ again. Do whatever you want, I'm done. Well, almost...I kind of like this one." He tickled her in the side again, but she slapped his hand away.

"Stop," she said quietly.

Freddie frowned, worried. "Sam?"

She got up. "I said stop. I'll leave."

"Sam, I was kidding, you don't have to--" He grabbed her hand, but she shook him off roughly. "You _wanted_ me to kiss you?"

"Leave me alone, Freddie!"

He pulled her down on top of him and pressed his lips to hers. Sam's eyes snapped wide open in surprise, but when she saw he was serious, she kissed him back.

After they broke apart, he panted, "Just share the stupid hammock with me."

* * *

When Spencer returned, he found everything in his apartment remarkably un-combusted. He also found Freddie and Sam cuddled and fast asleep in his new hammock.

"How'd that happen?" he wondered.

"Aw, they're so cute! Spencer, take a picture," urged Carly.

"I'm sure that's exactly what they want us to do, Carly. Just ignore them, they'll wake up eventually."

Reluctantly, Carly dropped her backpack near the door and started making herself a snack. Spencer disappeared into his room, only to return thirty seconds later.

"I got a camera."

* * *


End file.
